The man in the Mirror
By Folashade Majekodunmi
We are in the middle of the year already, so many resolutions have been broken, many targets missed, many hopes dashed and suddenly we begin to despair, unconsciously fear begins to creep into our lives robbing us of the joy we felt at the beginning of the new year! We’ve all been there before and if you’re in that camp now, I just want you to see life differently and you’ll be amazed at what good you are doing to and for yourself.
Everyone perceives life through their own lens. We all personalize our stories, determine that our childhood was horrible – or just plain sucky – and we choose to stay stuck by rehashing our victim stories over and over again in our heads and to others. It’s a challenging truth to face. However, if you can step out of yourself and look at yourself as someone else would, I believe you would see someone way cooler than the person you see in the mirror.
We are so hard on ourselves we can’t even acknowledge our greatness. When you can notice the good in yourself instead of everything you think is pathetic about you, you’ll be empowered to make lasting changes in your life, the lives of others, and finally be able to attract your favour!. Pretend you are your best friend writing an introduction of you for an amazing event that’s being held in your honor. What’s awesome about you? Put on your acting hat, give up your modesty and brag girlfriend, because you are INCREDIBLE!
I know it sucks being alone for the holidays, but I promise you thousands of people are experiencing hardship much worse than whatever you’re currently experiencing. While there may be people out there doing better than you, there are also people doing worse than you. If you’re going to compare yourself to others, be certain to be equitable in your comparisons, because otherwise you’re just finding reasons to keep beating yourself up.
If you’re honest with yourself you’ll realize that your life isn’t so bad. Do you have a place to live? Food to eat? Clothes on your back? Family who love you?When it comes down to it, those are the important things, and everything else is just a circumstance that you can change. You can even change the family part by creating your own family if you don’t have one right now or one you’d rather trade in for a better functioning model.
My family is much different than I thought it would be at 45 years old. I thought I’d be chasing after a couple or three kids, creating a happy home. But then the reality is different, i thought not having kids of my own was the end of the world but now i have a big family made of wonderful children from the orphanages and the streets, and now I embrace the freedom that the family life I have offers me.
Anyhow, the bottom line is it’s all about your perspective. You can choose to see your life differently and you can begin immediately. Instead of remembering all the bad things that happened to you, focus on some of the good things. Or choose to see some of the bad things as opportunities for personal empowerment. You would not be who you are today without those experiences. Many times they served to make us stronger or gave us a purpose greater than ourselves. Many life paths have been carved out of stories of personal tragedy. My dad died when I was four. My mom spent three – four nights a week at the bar with my stepdad until all hours. I learned to be extremely independent and resourceful. These are traits I wouldn’t change for anything now, and I wouldn’t have them if I didn’t go through what I went through.
We just need to stop complaining about what we don’t have and begin to be more grateful for what we do have. Let’s look at good things instead of the bad. Even if it’s just one tiny good moment, you can make that your mantra and have that grow in your subconscious mind to magnetize many more good things into your life..
Your life isn’t as bad as you’ve made it out to be in your head. Feeling sorry for yourself and fretting about it are coping mechanisms that helped you as a child which no longer serve you now. Your mind is extremely powerful, and is also basically just a computer, it can only put out what you put into it, so why not input empowering, loving thoughts about yourself, your life, and beliefs about others. We can find evidence to support any thought we have, so let’s find evidence that supports what we want in life instead of what we don’t want.
You can have an amazing life, filled with the work, people, and circumstances that you love and enjoy. You just need to believe that can be true for you and it all begins with changing one thought today. Why not start by observing and helping others this season to shift your perspective from “Poor me”, to “How can I help them.” When you get out of yourself and into others, suddenly your life looks so much better. It’s just a shift in perspective, which is the definition of a miracle. Why not create your own miracle this year? It’s all up to you! If you’re feeling particularly lonely and despondent this year, I recommend that you find ways to help others. You’ll realize that you don’t have it so bad after all. You’ve only got this life to live and you can as well live it joyously!