10 Things Happy Couples Do
Fireworks are great, but that’s not what keeps love strong for years. Watching movies is a real bad daydream to keep a marriage honestly, they make you see couples who always laugh at each other’s jokes, cook dinner together, fly off to romantic getaways, and have lots of great sex (they never do laundry). But the real-life version looks a lot different but creates stronger, richer marriages in the long run. The happiest partners aren’t constantly chasing fireworks and bliss. The secret to their success is much simpler, say researchers: Real-life happy couples do 10 things to keep their love strong.
1. Let Love Build
If you think the heart-pounding rapture of a new relationship is what long-term love is like, you’re in for a big surprise. The couples who grow happier over time are the ones who understand that love evolves, becoming calmer, deeper, richer, and more powerful.
2. Play Nice
The happiest couples do something other couples often don’t: They’re kind to each another. It’s not about nightly back rubs and offers to do the dishes, either (although those never hurt). Happy partners simply don’t get mean or nasty with each other, even during arguments. “Happy couples treat each other like best friends. They’re nice to each other across the board. That’s what builds loving feelings.
3. Do This in Bed
Surprise: Fooling around — aka, sex — is not tops on the list of the most important things happy couples do in bed. What is? Talking. Spending a few minutes chatting every night before sleep lets you catch up, make plans, and discuss problems in a quiet, tender setting.
4. Double Date
Dinners for two are cozy, but dinners for four are just as important in a relationship. Bonding with other couples actually strengthens your own relationship. Having open, intimate conversations with other twosomes reinforces your own sense of togetherness. Being close to them makes you feel closer to each other.
5. Face Your Differences
Most couples have their differences, and the more you have, the greater the seeming threat to your relationship. But it’s how you handle them that really matters. Happy couples bring their differences out into the open rather than denying or dismissing them. “Put issues on the table, and look for ways you can work around them. “The process of examination and renewal makes the threats diminish.”
6. Skip Some of the Small Talk
Couples who have deep conversations are far more likely to be happy than couples who always keep it light and breezy. Researchers reported that the happiest couples have twice as many substantive discussions — and far fewer superficial ones as the unhappiest couples.
7. Be Equally Committed
If you’re both pretty lazy when it comes to working out your problems, you can be just as happy as partners who put in a lot of effort. What matters is that you both feel you devote the same amount of care and effort — a lot or a little — to keeping your relationship strong. Happiness doesn’t necessarily depend on how intense your level of commitment is, but on how mutual it is.
8. Soften Up
It’s just not possible to avoid arguments all the time. In fact, they happen quite often in everyday life. But the happiest couples keep conflicts from becoming confrontations. They soften their approach when bringing up tough issues. And neither feels as if one of them always gets his or her way. Each occasionally yields to the other.
9. Accentuate the Positive
Happy couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other as negative ones, even when they’re arguing. It’s not always easy to be nice but focusing on the upside pays off by solidifying the bond between you and your partner.
10. Love and Mean it
Finally, its not just enough to say I love you to your partner, make sure when you say it, you really mean it. This removes friction and makes you feel lighter, more loving and lovable. Have a wonderful marriage.
When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that’s when its real that’s when its worth something
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