Pinkroom: Celebrating Single – Happy over the Holidays

I don’t love Christmas.  It’s just too much. The season is two full months long. The stores start the Christmas carols and decorations the first day of December and till January fades out, one is barged with lots of reds everywhere and soon you are asked for resolutions that may not even be with you by the end of the first quarter of the year, honestly its a ritual that’s fast losing taste. It’s not like I don’t like the decorations and the festive feeling in the air, the parties and social gatherings that allow me to catch up with people I like but haven’t seen in awhile, yet Christmas will always be Christmas and particularly when you’re in my shoes.

My friends find me hard to cope with and honestly i really understand their feel! This year alone, i have being the chief bridesmaid for 2 of my friends and yet they cant understand how I can cope with still being single at this age and with my supposed beauty and free spirit. ‘I cant imagine why, are all men blind that they cant see you’ this was Kenny’s lament the last time we were in a party together but then, this is me, and sincerely I wish the guy wouldn’t come around at this time of the year, I need to savour the merriment of this season without any loads of someone dotting on me. I love being single over the holidays. For the most part, I’ve overcome the negative thinking that comes from comparing my holiday experience to what the media says it should be. The only problem I have now is maybe finding a date for the office party. But since I’m not dating anyone, I guess i can solve the problem by simply inviting a friend, especially if he’s a tall, good-looking friend.  With this also come the added advantage of

1.Butting Out of Negative Self Talk. The world (especially the TV, magazines, and malls part of the world) is telling you what a joyful, social, CONNECTED time of year this is. In your bah humbug mind, though, you may find yourself saying, “Yes, but I’m lonely.” “Yes, but what if I’m the only one at the party without a date?’ “Yes, but I have no family here.” “Yes, but the holidays are for couples.” Have you had negative thoughts like these? Then it’s time to “but” out by taking the “but” out of “yes, but”: “Yes, I love the holiday season.” “Yes, the holidays are for everyone – not just an arbitrary demographic group.” “Yes, I can use this time to find spiritual replenishment.” Every time you hit a holiday hurdle, visualize the phrase “Yes, but” floating in front of you. Now take a big red, imaginary pen and cross out “but.”   2. Choosing the Holiday Spirit that Moves You; Being single gives you choices. Some of your holiday experiences can be quiet and introspective. You may choose to be peaceful and private, use these days off as quiet, relaxing times. Being single, it’s easier to set my own traditions.  3. Partying Hearty or Partying Lite: As a single person, you can choose how you want to spend your holidays. You can gleefully accept, or graciously turn down, party invitations. If you don’t get any party invitations, and wish you had, then it’s time for you make some invitations of your own. If you’re not in a position to host a big party, start small with get-togethers such as a movie outing is especially good if you’re shy. make a list of people you miss talking to, and call them. 4. Making It Happen

Following the above tips should help you enjoy the holidays more – even if you can’t rent (I mean find) a tall, good-looking friend for the office party. If you’ve got other tips for singles over the holidays, and would like to see them posted on this page, please send them in to me at princess@genesismagz.com for consideration