Have you always wanted to figure out what is going on in a guy’s mind, in the first few weeks. To women, we men can seem like a bit of an enigma. If you call us too often, you’re pushy. If you don’t call us enough, you’re cold. Figuring out what is going on in a guy’s mind in the first few weeks of dating would really help a woman feel more assured, knowing that she is in control of the situation. But exactly how do you find out without asking him outright and getting a look like you’ve just asked him to marry you? How can you turn an awkward first date with the man of your dreams into the relationship you’ve dreamed of? Well here are a few tips to get you moving in the right direction.
Never empty your glass – You might be shaking like a leaf and nothing would settle your nerves more than to knock back the glass of wine on your table, but trust me, it’s not worth it. If you want to stay in control of the date and keep him interested then take it easy and don’t overindulge. If your date becomes your boyfriend then there will be plenty of opportunities for both of you to let your hair down. But a guy will most likely be a little scared if you knock back a few shots before dinner.
Never invite us in after a first date – Yes of course we will ask you but that doesn’t necessarily mean we want you to say yes. A kiss on your doorstep is enough to reassure us that you are interested but if you invite us in for the night we will start to wonder if this happens to every guy you date. This is a bit of a subconscious thing with men, and although we think we want to spend the night at your place after a first date, in the cold light of the morning after we will be relieved that it didn’t happen.
Forget Facebook – If you want to let your friends know how much you loved that latte on the way to work this morning, or share a photo of the most adorable kitten playing a guitar that’s, well and good but don’t send him a friend request until he has started introducing you as his girlfriend, speaking of which…
Pay attention to the introductions – We guys are extremely territorial (even though we may not know it) and once we’ve come to the conclusion that this is the woman we want, we’ll start saying things like “This is my girlfriend”. Once he has started calling you his girlfriend, babe, woman, or even his other half, he won’t stop, and has laid all his cards on the table without even realising it. Now you know he’s taking this thing seriously and you can probably stop calling it dating and start using the word relationship.
Don’t call him everyday – It may from time to time seem as though the male half of the population hasn’t fully grasped the concept of staying in touch but trust me we know how to call you when you haven’t called us. If you call constantly to “just check in” then the chances are he’ll feel smothered within a week and will lose interest or just assume you are plain desperate. No matter how much you want to call, don’t! If you don’t call he’ll start to panic and think that you have a life that doesn’t revolve around him which leads us to…
Do your own thing – Never make us the centre of your world. Men love doing their own thing, and they love a woman who does her own thing even more. Hang out with your friends, go for a meal with your sister, have drinks after work, and after a certain amount of time you will both start doing many of these things together but take it slowly and don’t rush into spending every evening with your new man. He will want his own space and really appreciate you if you give it to him.
Commitment scares the hell out of us– Of course there are men out there that will disagree but the vast majority of us are scared stiff of the future. A week in advance, or possibly a month, is usually as far as we are willing to commit after a few weeks or even months of dating. But just because we are scared of it doesn’t mean we don’t want it. It may take a guy a lot longer to realise that you are the one but patience is a virtue found often in a woman, so take it easy and let him decide when he is ready to commit.
Now you’re armed with these tips you should be feeling a little more confident about embarking on the roller coaster ride that is the dating game but it’s worth remembering (and here’s the twist) that not all guys are the same. A bad relationship you had in the past should stay exactly there, in the past! Give a new guy a chance and let him prove that not all men are the same. So how many of the above tips will be helpful to you on your next date? Well half the fun is finding out isn’t it?
For More Juicy Stories, Get your copy of GENESIS INTERNATIONAL MAGAZINE, (Issue 9). Available with the vendors, and online on jumia.com.ng, konga.com. Available also internationally in the USA in all Barnes & Nobles Stores, Chapters booksellers in Canada and isubscribe.com in UK.
